In the world of business, the most effective bosses are those who know and understand the difference between being 'in-charge' and being 'in-control'. While the Celebrity-CEOs seem to get most of the attention, the goodies are those bosses that remain in charge and give control to others. The boss is the boss and is prepared to accept ultimate responsibility for what happens on her watch. And, by giving control to others, she empowers them to act-always in the best interests of the organisation, of course.
As you would expect, this practice of being in charge and giving control can be applied to a wide variety of areas other than business. Take, for example, personal health care. A fellow I know (let's call him Bill) has been in hospital for some time. Bill has opted to let others be in charge and in control. In so doing, he has abrogated all responsibility for his well-being to others. Bill expects that someone else will fix him up and make him well again. Bill has also given the health-care providers control over every aspect of his care. They tell him what drugs he takes, the quantity, how often, and so on. And, because he is not in charge, he just goes along with what someone else has decided for him. It will come as no surprise to learn that, as long as he continues this practice, his chances of complete recovery are zit. We must always remain in charge.
There's an American saying that urges us to 'Drive your own bus'. The phrase is meant to emphasize the importance of staying in the driver's seat (remaining in charge, if your like) of our own lives. If we don't, or choose not to, there are plenty of others eager to do it for us. Many people are reluctant to drive their own bus. Perhaps this reluctance helps to explain why the number of leaders are so 'thin on the ground', and why many people are reluctant to take-on leadership positions. Those same people would prefer to just do as they're asked or instructed.
So, what are the implications for ageing? The key message is the importance of staying in charge-in the driver's seat. It's your life. There are lots of others who are only too eager to jump into the driver's seat, if you allow or invite them to. You can give control to others-the media to keep you informed, the police to protect you, the club to entertain you, and so on. Ultimately, however, you remain in charge and give control to those you choose. It's that easy. And, if you choose not to be in charge, don't be surprised if someone is quick to do that for you.
The importance of staying in charge and giving control to others can not be over-emphasized. Here's a challenge for you. See if you can identify incidences of this behaviour; relating to remaining in charge and giving control. Here's one that I observed recently. The observed behaviour was in an episode (a repeat of a repeat of a repeat) of Seinfeld. In the episode, the main characters volunteered to spend time with seniors-provide companionship, take them for a coffee, and so on. One of the characters, the glass-half-empty George Costanza, was sacked by the person allocated to him. The fellow claimed that life was too short to waste it with a loser like George. Despite being prepared to give control to others, the organisation arranging contact and support etc., the person concerned remained in charge-ultimately the decision remained his about who (or what) he was prepared to be exposed to. After you've identified this behaviour in others...
The challenge is yours: it's your life. Remain in the driver's seat. In the words of Somerset Maughan, 'It's a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you'll very often get it'.
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