Not Every Woman Diagnosed With Breast Cancer Loves Pink

I can take or leave the colour pink. Mostly before 2009 I ignored it. Red- yes; pink - no.

I have had dark hair from the day I was born and pink is just not flattering to me. I would much rather wear and surround myself with dark fuchsia which is a black-pink or violet which is a red-purple. There was very little pink in my life until 2009 when I was diagnosed with DCIS and suddenly kilos of Breast cancer pink was all around me.

I was in a panic state. This pink was bringing out all sorts of emotions in me and it was smothering me or so it felt to me. I could not escape it even when we went to New York for a holiday after my radiation treatment finished. We arrived there in the middle of their Breast Cancer awareness week. It just was not going to leave me alone until I had dealt with what pink meant to me; what I was afraid of about pink and what pink is here to teach me.

Over the last four years, pink and I are getting along a whole lot better. I do not have any pink clothing but I have one pink necklace that I am comfortable wearing. There are a few more pink items in my home where before there were none.

When the latest Breast Cancer magazine arrived, I finally sat down to write how I now feel about Breast cancer pink.

This pink colour speaks to me about being alive and proud to be me. It is not about being soft and invisible but me celebrating being a woman. It is a colour of balance - not too pale and not too dark. To feel comfortable with this pink in my life, I have had to throw out the urgent and add only what is really important to me. It is not a passive subdued pink. It is a lively pink.

This pink is also challenging. Breast cancer pink is pink en masse. Welcome to the sisterhood of women. It speaks community and letting others help me and this has been a real challenge for me. I am not alone. I had to embrace other women and let them help me rather than always being the responsible one that everyone else leaned on.

Finally, breasts are a team. In the beginning before my operation, I drew on the inspiration from another woman and named my breasts. One needed the help and the other was there to support her and me through it all. Breast cancer pink to me is now the colour of team women.

I am part of that team and maybe in the future I will feel comfortable enough to walk into a room full of pink. I am building up to it step by small step.